Is there any room in your heart for me?

I have to say that my husband is in France right now and he took my camera with him.  So, I've been making do with some old photos to go with my new posts.  I hope you don't mind.

This post is not a cry for help.  I'm not sad and pathetic even though it may sound like that.  I actually have complete peace and I am very excited to see what the future holds.  These are just thoughts goin through my mind and feelings in my heart.

*****

Over the summer our family made a huge change in our lives.  We moved to a new church and decided to put our kids in a new school.  I will post more about that later.

It feels as though we are starting all over again.  In many ways it's been easy but in other ways it's been hard.  One of them being the struggle to meet new people.  I feel as though I am on the outside looking in. 

It seems they all already have their friendships established.  Like they've known each other for years.  They seem genuinely interested in talking to me and meeting me, but is that where it stops?  Their lives are full of family, church, school and the like.  They are busy, like me.  Could they have any more room in their lives for another friend?  Is there any room in their hearts for me?

This has been weighing on my mind a lot lately.  I guess it's natural for a girl woman to feel this way.  We all want to fit in.  Want to be liked.  It's hard to be the one left out.

I know in time I will find my place.  And I know it will take time.  I just want a bucket full of friends.  Not a lot just a bucket-full.  ; ]

My version of a bucket full of friends!!  :)

 
But more than that I would like one to be mine.  Just mine.  Okay, I'm scaring myself a little bit, but I think you know what I mean.  That one that knows the real me.  The one I can cry with, laugh (really laugh, you know, the pee your pants kind) with, go on play dates with and even "couple dates."

Sure, I still have friends from my old church, but things are different now.  I don't see them anymore.  I'm not looking to replace them, just add to my bucket.  So, if I'm willing to add new friends to my life does that mean that others are too?  If I still have room in my heart for another friend or two, does that mean they have a little room in their heart for me too?

Be

I came across this song this morning.  Selah is one of my absolute favorite christian artists.

I couldn't help but notice how appropriate it is to my previous post about the apostle Paul.  It's truly touching.  I hope you enjoy.

Happy Monday!!

Powerful Words

I just love Sunday's don't you?  We are truly blessed to live in an area where there are many many great churches.  Real churches.  I happen to think that my family attends one of the best around.

I was really touched this morning not only in the sermon, but also in the music worship.  So many talented people!!  Makes me jealous, but glad that I can be spiritually fed through them.

Our Pastor has been speaking and just today finished in the book of Acts.  We've been learning about the apostle Paul and his journey and sacrifice for Jesus Christ.  I think the following verse sums up Paul's life.

Philippians 1:21

For to me to live is Christ

and to die is gain.



Wow!!  I have always been able to understand the "to die is gain,"  but to get to the "for me to live is Christ" that is the hard part.

Our lives are not to be about us.  They are to be all about Him.  Oh I already know this, but still fail.  Miserably.  This verse and message today struck a cord with me.  How does one get to that point in their life?  The point where we are fully living for Christ?  Like the apostle Paul.

I guess we can look to I Corinthians 15:31b for help.

I die daily.



Simply put.  It's dying to ourselves.  Simply put, but hard to do.

The Help

Happy Saturday Night.

Well, with my husband out of town the country and the boys tucked in their beds, it seems I couldn't come up with anything better to do, so I watched a movie.  Just flippin through the channels I came across the movie "The Help."

There are few "words" in the movie.  **I don't know why they have to put language in movies.  Drives me nuts.**  Despite this I must say I have throughly enjoyed the movie. 

The movie is so well done.  One minute you're crying and the next laughing.  Anything I can say wouldn't do it justice.  This is not a christian movie.  There was no Bible lesson, no teaching, preaching or scripture reading.  There was however one BIG valuable lesson to be learned.  And that is LOVE.

Can't say anymore.  Just go see it.

Why blog?

This is a question I have found myself asking now for quite some time.  Why do I blog?  Why do you blog?  Why does anyone blog?  I'm not really sure yet why I do.  I hope if you are reading this and you have a blog that you know why you blog.

Is it because I want people to know me and see how I live?  No, I don't think so.  If you haven't noticed I haven't even posted a photo of myself on this here blog.  (ahem Bevy, I see you noticed.)  Anyway, I am a very private sort of person.  It's not that I want to keep secrets from people, more that I don't think people really care what is going on in my life or others for that matter.  I don't even have a facebook account.  Do people really care what others are doing every moment of the day?  Or, is it just plain nosiness?  I don't know, just sending out the question.

Do I blog because I have something really important to say that everyone needs to hear?  No, that can't be it either, because I really don't have much that is worthy of hearing.  I really am just learning life as I go.  You would think at the age of ....nevermind let's just say at my age I should have a lot more figured out by now.

I once saw on another persons blog something about how she was trying to pick up traffic on her blog.  I found myself asking why?  I'm not really sure I want to "grow" my blog, if you know what I mean.  Because with a bigger audience becomes more pressure right?  And as a working mother, wife, sister, daughter and on the list goes, I certainly don't need any added pressure.  So, if that is the case than why blog?

I guess the real reason I started this blog was for my boys.  I am not a very talkative person...usually.  What I mean by that is, I don't tend to share my feelings outwardly.  I am not very affectionate either.  Don't tend to give a lot of hugs and kisses.  Wow, I just aired a lot of my dirty laundry on the world-wide-web.  Oh wait, nobody reads my blog anyway.  Shew!!  I'm good.  : ]

Anyway, back to the topic of discussion here.  I guess my hope is that someday my boys will want to read this blog and in doing so will see inside of my heart those things I was never able/willing to share.  Good and bad.  And know how I felt and what I was thinking.

So, while my blog may grow I will still be here spilling out my thoughts.  And while no one cares, I'll still do it.  For them.  After all, they are pretty much the reason I do everything I do.

So, tell me why you blog.

What's in a name?

I am going to try to revive this 'ol blog of mine.  I have had so many things going on in my head, but just couldn't get them on "paper."  I know what you're thinking, "this is a post about how a person "fits" their name, or why they were given a name."  Well, I'm sorry to say you are incorrect.  This is just something I haven't been able to let go, so I thought it must be worthy of a post.  We'll see.

Anyway, I overheard a conversation last week between a father and his son.  It was slightly disheartning.  I don't know this particular family very well yet, and may be a little presumptuous in my thoughts.  I'll give a quick version.  This boy made a comment about someone calling him a name, and his father said something to the affect of "I'm glad I don't call you that."  The son went on to say to his father that he did call him a name.  Mind you, this is not even a word I use, let alone call my child it.  Well, the step-mom went on to tell him what the word means, but we all know the father never intended that to be the purpose behind the name.  To end the conversation (or atleast what portion I heard) his father went on to say that his son was too sensitive and needed to stop taking him to heart.

That's the part that got me.  Here is this boy basically asking his dad not to call him a certain name, and his father tells him to stop being sensitive.  Let me ask, is it okay to call someone a name as long as it doesn't hurt their feelings?  This is a conversation I had with my husband last week.  I have been told that I am too sensitive to other peoples thoughts and opinions.  Another question, do I need to stop being sensitive and feeling hurt, so that the other person can have the freedom to state their thoughts?

As someone who is sensitive and hurt rather easily, I tend to bite my tongue when I sometimes so desperately want to say something.  Something I know could/would hurt someone else.  I can't imagine deliberately bringing pain to another individual.  And then, telling them to stop being sensitive to my hurtful words. 

I just wish people understood the power of words.  Both good and bad.  They can have a lasting impression on someone, and I'll add, if said enough those words could start to be believed.

Maybe we do need to be less sensitive, not to give others "freedom of speech" but because we as christians aren't to fear others, only God.  In other words, it's only important what God thinks of me and not others.  Right?  Then why do we take it to heart?

Maybe the kids have it right.  "Sticks and stones may break my bones, but names will never hurt me."