Expectations

Have you ever had something in your life that you were excited about and when it finally came, it ended up being...not what you expected?

It seems that has been the case for me lately.  It has had me wondering though.  Are my expectations too high?  Should I plan for things to only be ho-hum, so I won't be disappointed?  I don't know which is worse, planning for something exicting and being disappointed, or not even having the excitement in the planning. 

One thing I thought of today was this.  When it comes to eternity and spending it in heaven with Jesus Christ, I can have high expectations and get excited and I know I won't be disappointed.  Quite the opposite actually.  I don't think I can even plan for just how wonderful it will be.  

So tell me, what should I do?  What do you do?  Do you plan for something exciting and just accept it when it doesn't go according to plan?  Do you set low expectations so you won't be disappointed?  I need a little help with this one.

Out of the ashes

Today was a (pause while I think of the right word)  different, interesting, no, maybe the best word to use would be blessed.  Today was a day of blessings.  I had to work today and due to different circumstances I happened to be working out on the floor with customers.  I work for a local christian book store, which is a blessing in itself.  Most days at work are just sort of average, if you know what I mean.  But today...today was different.  There was a certain spirit in the air.  Maybe it was the beautiful weather, I'm not sure.  No wait, I am sure.  Today was the kind of day that you just "knew" the Lord had sent each and every person through our doors for a purpose.

It started with a woman.  She seemed a bit bewildered, like she was just waiting for someone to rescue her.  Although at first glance one might not have noticed.  Once we discovered her it was as if she just dropped all of the "baggage" she had right there on the floor.  A long breath just released.  You know what I mean.  Its like finding a place of refuge in the midst of turmoil.

You see, this woman was in our store today to buy a Bible.  A Bible she needed because she did not have one and she needed to be close to the Lord.  To read his words.  She shared with us that just 3 weeks ago she lost her home and all she owned in a house fire.  Everything.  Up in smoke.  She is very thankful to have gotten out alive.  But once the smoke clears and the dust settles, you realize you have nothing.  Nothing.

But there, right in the middle of the store, she found a safe haven, a refuge, a solace, a warm hug.  Tears were shed and not just hers.  There were customers shopping right at that moment that the Lord knew she needed.  Other women to help her grasp the loss she was grieving.  To let her know that it's okay to grieve for "things" we have lost.  I'm sure she appreciated her home, was thankful for all that God had given her.  I'm sure she didn't need to have it all taken away to realize her gratitude.  God had allowed it all to be taken away in an instant.  Yet, who did she turn to?  God.

I don't really know where I am going with this except maybe to say that I am so thankful that I had the priveledge of being part of the joy that was shared.  Thankful that I am blessed enough to work in a place where at any time of the day we can stop what we are doing and lift a fellow sister up in prayer to the Lord. Blessed to know that despite some of the difficult days at work, we really do have the best customers in the world.  People who weren't afraid to come over when they heard a woman sobbing, giving up their time to help someone with a need.

What are the words to that song?  I believe it is:  "Out of the ashes, beauty will rise." 

Is there any room in your heart for me?

I have to say that my husband is in France right now and he took my camera with him.  So, I've been making do with some old photos to go with my new posts.  I hope you don't mind.

This post is not a cry for help.  I'm not sad and pathetic even though it may sound like that.  I actually have complete peace and I am very excited to see what the future holds.  These are just thoughts goin through my mind and feelings in my heart.

*****

Over the summer our family made a huge change in our lives.  We moved to a new church and decided to put our kids in a new school.  I will post more about that later.

It feels as though we are starting all over again.  In many ways it's been easy but in other ways it's been hard.  One of them being the struggle to meet new people.  I feel as though I am on the outside looking in. 

It seems they all already have their friendships established.  Like they've known each other for years.  They seem genuinely interested in talking to me and meeting me, but is that where it stops?  Their lives are full of family, church, school and the like.  They are busy, like me.  Could they have any more room in their lives for another friend?  Is there any room in their hearts for me?

This has been weighing on my mind a lot lately.  I guess it's natural for a girl woman to feel this way.  We all want to fit in.  Want to be liked.  It's hard to be the one left out.

I know in time I will find my place.  And I know it will take time.  I just want a bucket full of friends.  Not a lot just a bucket-full.  ; ]

My version of a bucket full of friends!!  :)

 
But more than that I would like one to be mine.  Just mine.  Okay, I'm scaring myself a little bit, but I think you know what I mean.  That one that knows the real me.  The one I can cry with, laugh (really laugh, you know, the pee your pants kind) with, go on play dates with and even "couple dates."

Sure, I still have friends from my old church, but things are different now.  I don't see them anymore.  I'm not looking to replace them, just add to my bucket.  So, if I'm willing to add new friends to my life does that mean that others are too?  If I still have room in my heart for another friend or two, does that mean they have a little room in their heart for me too?

Powerful Words

I just love Sunday's don't you?  We are truly blessed to live in an area where there are many many great churches.  Real churches.  I happen to think that my family attends one of the best around.

I was really touched this morning not only in the sermon, but also in the music worship.  So many talented people!!  Makes me jealous, but glad that I can be spiritually fed through them.

Our Pastor has been speaking and just today finished in the book of Acts.  We've been learning about the apostle Paul and his journey and sacrifice for Jesus Christ.  I think the following verse sums up Paul's life.

Philippians 1:21

For to me to live is Christ

and to die is gain.



Wow!!  I have always been able to understand the "to die is gain,"  but to get to the "for me to live is Christ" that is the hard part.

Our lives are not to be about us.  They are to be all about Him.  Oh I already know this, but still fail.  Miserably.  This verse and message today struck a cord with me.  How does one get to that point in their life?  The point where we are fully living for Christ?  Like the apostle Paul.

I guess we can look to I Corinthians 15:31b for help.

I die daily.



Simply put.  It's dying to ourselves.  Simply put, but hard to do.

What's in a name?

I am going to try to revive this 'ol blog of mine.  I have had so many things going on in my head, but just couldn't get them on "paper."  I know what you're thinking, "this is a post about how a person "fits" their name, or why they were given a name."  Well, I'm sorry to say you are incorrect.  This is just something I haven't been able to let go, so I thought it must be worthy of a post.  We'll see.

Anyway, I overheard a conversation last week between a father and his son.  It was slightly disheartning.  I don't know this particular family very well yet, and may be a little presumptuous in my thoughts.  I'll give a quick version.  This boy made a comment about someone calling him a name, and his father said something to the affect of "I'm glad I don't call you that."  The son went on to say to his father that he did call him a name.  Mind you, this is not even a word I use, let alone call my child it.  Well, the step-mom went on to tell him what the word means, but we all know the father never intended that to be the purpose behind the name.  To end the conversation (or atleast what portion I heard) his father went on to say that his son was too sensitive and needed to stop taking him to heart.

That's the part that got me.  Here is this boy basically asking his dad not to call him a certain name, and his father tells him to stop being sensitive.  Let me ask, is it okay to call someone a name as long as it doesn't hurt their feelings?  This is a conversation I had with my husband last week.  I have been told that I am too sensitive to other peoples thoughts and opinions.  Another question, do I need to stop being sensitive and feeling hurt, so that the other person can have the freedom to state their thoughts?

As someone who is sensitive and hurt rather easily, I tend to bite my tongue when I sometimes so desperately want to say something.  Something I know could/would hurt someone else.  I can't imagine deliberately bringing pain to another individual.  And then, telling them to stop being sensitive to my hurtful words. 

I just wish people understood the power of words.  Both good and bad.  They can have a lasting impression on someone, and I'll add, if said enough those words could start to be believed.

Maybe we do need to be less sensitive, not to give others "freedom of speech" but because we as christians aren't to fear others, only God.  In other words, it's only important what God thinks of me and not others.  Right?  Then why do we take it to heart?

Maybe the kids have it right.  "Sticks and stones may break my bones, but names will never hurt me."