I really don't know where this post will go, so please bare with me.
I knew this decision would be hard and I knew it would hurt. I had no idea just how much it would hurt. I have complete peace about the decision and feel very strongly that it is right and what God wants. When I shared this decision with someone I love so very much, I knew it would be met with some criticism and hoped there would also be love and support. Instead what I was met with was judgement, misunderstanding and a lack of compassion.
It hurts. There is no other way around it. I feel miserable. I'm trying to do the best I can at raising my kids. The truth is, I don't have a clue. I know I love them and have their best interest at heart.
But what do you do when your family doesn't agree? I've been so blessed to always have a family that loved and supported me through just about everything. So this is new territory for me.
I don't know what to do next. I don't know where this road will lead. I'm not a fighter. I don't like confrontation. I'm not one who likes to cause a big stink. I was trying to avoid all of that, but ended up walking right into it.
So, I'm sure I'll get over it. In time. I know I'll be sorry for bringing on pain. I know I'll forgive. In time. But I also know I'll bear the scars of the deep deep pain forever. In all honesty I'm sick of it. So sick of just letting the daggers fly at me and not doing anything about it. I've just never been one that wanted to hurt others even if they've hurt me. I guess it's because I know how much it hurts and I don't want to do that to someone else.
I don't know what else to say. I hope that things will look better in the morning. Things always look better in the morning. Right? It won't change what is, but maybe just maybe it will.
Grace at Home No. 271
6 hours ago